People And My Anger!

Everyone knows I have an issue with people, well not really an issue, well ok it is kind of an issue. I just don't like many of them. Not because I'm antisocial, well ok it is because I'm antisocial, well I'm not, well maybe just a little. Basically, I get bored of unnecessary bullshit, the selfishness, the complete fakeness of some humans , I just cant be putting myself through that, why should I..they scare me!

Some people frown on me because of this, others wish they could do the same and I'm like, eerrrr then do it. If I don't want to go somewhere, I won't, doesn't mean I don't like the person or can't be arsed...ok maybe its a little of both sometim 80es..maybe a lot of both most times, just means I cant be doing with the mass of people that will be there that will pretend to all like each other when you know half of them slag the other half off. I hate fakeness, I hate pretending I want to be there, talking to someone I barely know about bullshit I don't want to listen to. Most of the time my face just gives it away. I'm ok for about an hour or so, then I just get exhausted and think, ok, time to go before my face is a cunt!

Saying that, if I do agree to go somewhere, I go and I give it my all, I hate going and being the miserable wank that brings everyone down, if I go, Im giving it everything I've got and I WILL enjoy myself and look like a complete dick whilst doing so :). Maybe I'm bitter and distrusting of the human race. If your own family can behave so awful to you , then why would anyone else really genuinely give a shit right?

The worse thing is when I do agree to go somewhere and get into a conversation with previously mentioned annoying human and I disagree with what they are saying, which is fine, we can't all have the same opinions, although my opinion is very clearly the right one and it does depend on the subject and how passionate I am about this subject. Also if the person is a complete know it all twat, My head is saying, hhmmm this person is a prick, just nod then move away. My mouth , head and face however have a different plan entirely, most times the wife (NYBN) is on hand to gently drag me away and put me back in my box, sometimes my kids will be there to either calm me , or more often than not end up joining in and its absolute carnage. . One time at the airport when the flights had got fucked up and we needed to get the kids on the flight for their Dads wedding then someone pushed in front of us ..oh big mistake. All hell broke lose, even the Wife (NYBN) joined in, in amongst her attempts to try and keep us all calm. Same guy then made the terrible mistake of trying to insult me, oh dear, my mouth then took over and all I could see was red, then my little Rottweilers lost control and also went for him, it was a fucking free for all. We all looked round to see who that mans voice was coming from behind us only to see it was our man child! I was so impressed, so proud of my little angry crew, I really have brought up some fiery bad tempered , also really rather foul mouthed mother fuckers, you would never have thought I washed their mouths out with fairy liquid when they were small, literally made them both swallow a spoon full, infact I think I poured it down their throats once..so much so that bubbles were coming out of their mouths .. lol.... Anyway, we ended up getting the man arrested and thrown off the flight...oops. Teach him to spout his homophobic bullshit in my direction.

So thats why I tend to stay home and away from people. I get too wound up and its not a pretty sight.

Its like when You are at a party..or gathering as they are called nowadays, and someone gets the raving hump about someone, or something, something so incredibly trivial that its not even worth mentioning.....mostly alcohol induced coz alcohol turns already dicks into bigger fuck off moronic dicks, and you just sit there watching it unravel. Sometimes I wish I had popcorn so I could just sit and watch. It angers me, angers me why people want to ruin the party, why people find it necessary to belittle others, why people manage to anger me because it really has fuck all to do with me but here I go... I will either sit back and watch quietly loving that someone else has got into a big hot emotional angry mess this time and not me, or invariably get involved and end up telling everyone to fuck off. The wife (NYBN) is now fully accepting of my no show to many parties. I think she secretly relieved that she can go and have fun without worrying about my spontaneously combusting mood...I call her Hugo....You go Hugo. Sometimes she doesn't even bother telling me about the invites and I get all indignant and humpy like she's keeping secrets from me like I really was gonna go anyway. Seriously, I'm a nightmare lol. Poor Poor Wifey.(NYBN)

One thing I really cant stand is people that belittle others pretending its a joke. I see a lot of couples do this, I mean I do it to the Wife (NYBN) all the time lol, well, we do it to each other , I call her an annoying skinny bitch, which really isn't belittling, its just being honest, and she calls me fat and tells me to go exercise...like she actually just did, like now, less than 3 minutes ago (rude) but again, fairly accurate.

But you know the types I mean, the one sided ones, the ones who actually make you feel uncomfortable because they are always doing it, constantly making fun of them and calling them names. I find that passive aggressive and quite bullying. The last person that tried to do that to me I made look so bad I actually ended up feeling sorry for and apologised ...more people need to bite back.

Selfish people are the main cause of my anger...you. know when you are in the tube station and you are about to go through the turnstiles so you hurriedly get your card ready to buzz yourself through because you are thoughtful and don't want to create a buildup behind you...yeah....well not everyone is like that. You get those really annoying cocks that wait till they are there to start rummaging for their card. I mean seriously, look behind you you absolute fuckwit. Or the selfish ones that can see a mum struggling with her young kid on a train but won't get up and help or offer a seat, Why, will your very fit legs break if you and your phone have to stand for the journey whilst the woman with the toddler, buggy and bag is standing wanting to cry. Selfish people. I don't get it and I will never get it. Or you get that ones that help, then publicise it.....oh fuck off you attention whore, if you are going to help, do it, you don't have to let everyone know you were this really kind caring person because you behaved like a human should. Its rare, to find people that actually care, people who will take time out of their day to ask how you are, especially now. Some people are so wrapped up in their lives and their issues they cant see anyone else. I was talking to someone a few weeks ago after I got back from Florida, everyone knows why I go to Florida, its not a holiday anymore. This particular human didn't ask me how it went, didn't ask me how my Mum was, just went on about themselves and their traumas. Now whilst I don't expect people to ask, every journey becomes more and more traumatic for me, its a heavy week and Im emotionally fucked when I get back so anyone that asks or who is nice, basically brings me round from my very wounded state and it helps. By the same token I really do notice the people that don't ask, the people who are supposed to be close to me. that shit is noticeable. We are weird little creatures, I know what hurts me and I would hate for anyone going through shit to feel they are not thought of because I know how lonely and desperately painful that can feel. Its really not hard to think of someone else, and fuck those people who only ask when they see you...'Oh how's your Mum, you went to Florida 24 years ago didn't you?...yeah she dead now but thanks for asking!!!........errr no mother fucker, I was going through that 6 months ago you thoughtless cunt, I needed you to ask then, not now, so no, I'm not gonna fucking tell you shit now, You had your chance... 6 fucking months ago ! lol .

See I'm not an angry person, people and their attitude makes me angry, I'm not antisocial, its just I don't like being around people and their attitude. Once, in my shop a customer was being particularly unpleasant, well who says the customers are always right....not me clearly. This guy started raising his voice and generally being a dick, together with his side kick of a woman he was with. I let it go and just nodded.....for about 2.3 minutes, then lost my shit, told him to get out the shop before I call security, then I accidentally think I called him a peasant....ooops....his woman then went all croydon crackhead on me and flew herself towards me calling me a £9 an hour slagbag and that she was coming back for and to watch my back....do you know how hard it is to actually watch your back, well unless you are the exorcist, or an owl, its really quite difficult , also, I wish I made £9 per hour....dumbarse, It was really quite amusing, I shouted quite a lot, so much so that the men I worked with were telling me to calm down...seriously my mouth is a complete knob! . At least they didn't threaten to come back and shoot me like the previous croydonian I threw out my shop did lol. I was never really made for retail was I?

Another time I was with the boy child driving innocently home from football training when this stupid man in a van cut me up and hit my car in the process as he wouldn't let me in and drove off. This angered me a lot. So I did what any other sensible mother would do, having her impressionable young pre teen boy in the car, I chased that fucker until he had no choice but to stop as my hand was continually on the horn. We both got out of said vehicles, me hurling abuse at him, when he just looked at me and said, oh I know your type, this confused me slightly....am I a 'type?' what did he mean, pretty? sweet? good driver? amazing dress sense? what?? what type ...this came out in the form of 'oh fuck off you arse, what type' he then continued, 'yeah probably been drinking already haven't we?'...WE??? who the actual fuck was this stupid cock talking too, I turned to the car to double check my pre teen make wasn't swigging from a bottle and looked back at little short ignorant man in utter bewilderment ...this escaped my mouth as ' are you fucking kidding me? are you fucking dumb? I'm with my kid and its 10am you thick fuck, just because you cant fucking drive' blah blah blah, this abuse went back and forth for ages till I told him to just go fuck himself and stormed off, calling him a piece of man scum shit or whatever and drove really fast home, as angry tears started coming from my eyes. Pre teen boy looked at me and asked if I was ok, then said, 'you told him mum, what kind of man shouts at a woman like that anyway, wanker' yes Sol, exactly ,...and don't swear like Mummy.

I did this another time when I was heavily pregnant with boy child and girl child was 2 years old, driving to Heathrow to pick up their Dad who had been away....on a 'business trip' he was away on a lot of them. Anyway, thats here nor there, heavily pregnant , vomitty me (I vomitted 13 times a day, every day and night for 9 whole sodding months throughout both satan style pregnancies) and tiny hyper active, full on crazy toddler girl spawn in the back, when once again, a stupid little van man tried to cut me up, then spat on my windscreen when I drove up to the side of his car to yell at him. Ok I had crazy pregnancy hormones raging at the time and oddly I had a hammer in my car door pocket, have no idea why....weeeelllll....here I went again. Car chase all the way down the Kingston bypass side by side, swearing at both men in said shit van waving my lovely hammer at them. I had no idea at all what I was going to do had they ever stopped, I would have clearly had to hammer them both to death. So I kept the chase up with tiny little angry toddler in the back calling them fucking wankers waving her little chubby hand at them when they turned off some side road towards a farm and stopped....yeah, ok Ev....time to stop before you get you, your now violently insane toddler and unborn child murdered. See, I am sensible!.

So as you can clearly see, it's not me, its people. I just don't tolerate wankers. If you behave like a dick, I will treat you as such, what you see is what you get. If I like you, you will know and if I don't, you will also know..sorry, but am I?

Worse thing is, in all my greek anger and non tolerance for fuck all, I think I've created a monster in the wife (NYBN) she was so lovely and quiet and angelic like when I met her. Now she's a stroppy, bad tempered angry fuck who throws laptops in bins and calls Amanda Holden a cunt every single week ...its outrageous. I need to fix this, we cant both be horrendous people, she used to calm me, now she fuels me! I'm telling her Mum. ....