Well, it's actually nothing to do with being a lesbian and everything to do with these weird little humans known as teenagers.
Mostly everything in life comes with instructions and warning labels and a customer service helpline, yet here we are in the year 2019 bringing up the future of our world..BLIND. Talk about winging it.
Some of us are lucky enough to have parents or grandparents to bestow their knowledge down to us, but let's be honest here, did they really even have a clue or did they just shout a lot and threaten to tell "Dad when he got home" or throw objects at us in an attempt to knock us unconscious so they didn't have to deal with our teenage shit?
For the rest of us going in completely blind, with only the vague memory of our teenage years where all we can think of is "I never behaved like that" and "I would never speak to my mum like that" all I can say is 'Good Luck'
This site is dedicated to life as a mum of teenagers, being a gay mum, having a long suffering hard working, almost normal partner with a bigger family than the fucking Waltons, having an ex husband (need I say more) having a mum with alzeimers , living with my older crazy brother, work and how life is a complete wank
26/07/19
We are on holiday at the moment, The teens are spending a week with their Dad and his family whilst me and the wife (not yet but nearly) are relaxing in the sun drinking the local beer and enjoying the non existent winging of 'mum I'm hungry' 'mum I'm hot' 'mum the internet is shit' 'mum your music is crap I'm connecting mine' noises from those said teens.
Its bliss, even tho I miss those little shits dreadfully.The girl teen,who we shall call bratt 1 does texts me daily because she's a girl and has the ability to think! The boy teen, obviously bratt 2, appears to have forgotten our existence, or infact how to use a phone unless its for snapchat. I did call him an arshole yesterday for this behaviour because, well, I'm an arsehole and need to have contact with those humans I have painstakingly brought up, so how dare he forget he has a neurotic mother!!
Teenagers, boy ones are so completely different to girl ones. My boy one is an actual sloth. He's just finished. his GCSE's which his revision amounted to flicking through his books the night, possibly the morning before....god help us when we get the results in just over 3 weeks. I got tired of sounding like an habitual nag!! it started off nicely, Have you revised, let me help you, can I get you a snack, what have you revised? Look Im not going to work so I can be here to feed you, help you etc etc..... then it switched...what do you mean you don't need help, I helped your sister study, are you sure you've done anything? let me see what you've done, ffs you've only done one page, god fucking help you child if you fail these exams , I swear I'm going to fucking kill you!!!!
His response, relax Mum, I've got this. Its all in hand, I know what I'm doing. ...I fucking hope so boy because I really don't want to have to follow my threat of killing you as its quite nice having a boy and a girl! So now all he does is sleep...I shit you not, until 4 sometimes 5pm!! I mean for the love of god, HOW!!! All I do is panic that he's not eating enough! If I could feed him whilst he's sleeping, I bloody well would.
The girl teen however is a whole other human teen. She studied soooo hard AND let me help her. She sleeps but not as much as the sloth one. She spends more time on youTube or Netflix watching copious amounts of horror films or box sets of some description. She does tell me about them in great detail most times, they all blend into one eventually as my brain dies slowly after the 25th minute of who is who and who did what to who and what was it called again!
She's only just finished college Interactive Digital Design at the BRIT School , so proud of her, she had her summer all planned, trip to Amsterdam with her friends, which did actually cause me to die several times inside at the sheer thought of the worry those 4 days would cause me....until of course she tried to die on us, that did actually kill me completely. How I wished she’d gone to Amsterdam a 100 times instead of what we all went through. I'll cover that later. Its very hot now so I'm going to get a beer.
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